Understanding Monsters and Why People Cheat

BY BRANDON MINIA

For the first time in the almost two years since I finally broke communication with my ex, I feel like I can now fully sympathize with her for something she did that I never thought I ever would.

I understand now why my ex cheated on me with my best friend.

Granted, she’s still a monster. It’s still despicable the way she deceived me for months, largewith my best friend at that, and that when it was finally convenient for her, she disposed of me and almost pretended that our relationship never happened. But there were a few moments in the months leading up to discovering their secret affair that I have never understood until now.

I’m going to reference an anime I finished last night (Thursday morning to be exact) called White Album 2, so for anyone who cares, there’s some major spoilers for that show coming up. (I also hesitate to recommend it, because as good at it was, it was the first piece of media I ever consumed that really punched me in the gut).

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Conscious, Deliberate Mistakes

Hey kid, good morning,
You look like an angel.

BY CHELSEA RICCHIO

I watched The Last Five Years recently, a movie I’ve owned for close to a year but never got around to watching. I knew it was sad; I knew it would make me Feel Things, but I didn’t foresee just how much.

The reason for that is because I thought that the story was going to be about the organic breakdown of a relationship that occurs even when both parties are trying their best and doing nothing wrong. And it mostly was, but there was another element too: cheating.

I have never cried harder at a movie. Or any piece of media, actually. I don’t cry at things unless they’re happening to me, generally. But this movie and its songs hit me right where it hurts in a way that is unique. Almost immediately after the song “Nobody Needs To Know” began, the waterworks started flowing.

In this scene, the male protagonist, Jamie, is seen having an affair with multiple different women. That’s pretty typical. What was different was that it was apparent that he actually cared about the women he was with. Normally you don’t see that. Normally what you see is a guy just fucking random girls left and right, telling them he’ll call and then doesn’t and forgets their names. And normally, said guy doesn’t care about his girlfriend either. Continue reading

The Real Thing

BY CHELSEA RICCHIO

When you’re heartbroken, people say that one day you are going to meet someone who will show you why it didn’t work out with anybody else.

And I’m happy to say that I think I found that, at least in a way.

I’ve mentioned before that I was with someone for three months who was also in a serious relationship at the same time.

I didn’t mention how great OUR relationship was. But yeah, I admit it – it was short, but it was great. And I don’t regret it. Morality aside, it gave me something that I needed, which was a picture of what I want my relationships to look like.

I’m okay with this situation ending the way that it did as long as something good comes of it. For him I hope that this helped him to figure out what he really wants and go after that with 110% of his efforts, and have the courage to move on if it doesn’t work out. And for me I want it to be that I never forget this. So here are my favourite things that happened, so that I have a record of it on this blog that is supposed to be the story of my life. Continue reading

I Get It Now

For the past week I’ve been searching for a song or a Tumblr post or something to sum up how I feel, but I haven’t had any luck.

People don’t write about girls like me unless it’s to tear them down.

Growing up, I always looked at women who would become involved with someone else that they knew had a significant other in an extremely negative light. I wondered if they cared at all about the person they were hurting. I wondered how they could sleep at night. I wondered if they were just stupid, to believe anything the guy said, to think that he would leave his current partner, to believe that even if he did it would work out. I wondered if they genuinely felt loved and cared for.

Well, now I’m ‘that girl’, and I’m learning that it’s not at all as simple as that. I do care about his
girlfriend’s feelings. I don’t know her, but I know that no one deserves heartbreak, especially when you’ve devoted so much of your life to the person you’re with. And I’m not stupid either. Continue reading