Whiplash (Or, Making Responsible Decisions™)


A month and a half after ending this relationship, in no way did I feel like I was ready to start dating again. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends and recuperate. But all of my friends were either happily coupled up or active on the dating scene, and I was starting to feel left out.

So I re-downloaded some dating apps I’d used in the past – they’d never worked for me, but I figured that there was no harm in talking to a few people online for a little while to boost my confidence.

And then I had my first match.  “_ says, ‘I walked into a cactus once.’ Message him and ask him about it!”

Obviously I did, because that is literally the best icebreaker ever. Continue reading


Learning to balance Tinder


Dating can be quite a lot to handle sometimes. It’s a huge mixed bag of human interaction, uncertainty, and emotion. It’s wonderful and weird, but it can also be hard; hard to put yourself out there, hard to be vulnerable, and hard to be responsible.its-a-match

Since dating is so difficult, it makes sense that we’ve created online platforms to take out some of the uncertainty involved in the process. Online dating has become hugely popular and changed the way people meet each other. Tinder alone is used by over 50 million people worldwide and racks up over 1 billion swipes per day.

Why so popular? Well with an app like Tinder we have more control over how we expose ourselves to the uncertainties of dating. We put up nice photos of ourselves, we engage with someone when they meet our standards, and we have a conversation with them only after we know that they approve of us too. This happens all before we even meet with them in person for the first time. Tinder makes connecting with people easier by giving us access to a huge number of people while still granting us security and control. But what else are we exercising when we are enjoying all of this control?

Continue reading