Whiplash (Or, Making Responsible Decisions™)

BY CHELSEA RICCHIO

A month and a half after ending this relationship, in no way did I feel like I was ready to start dating again. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends and recuperate. But all of my friends were either happily coupled up or active on the dating scene, and I was starting to feel left out.

So I re-downloaded some dating apps I’d used in the past – they’d never worked for me, but I figured that there was no harm in talking to a few people online for a little while to boost my confidence.

And then I had my first match.  “_ says, ‘I walked into a cactus once.’ Message him and ask him about it!”

Obviously I did, because that is literally the best icebreaker ever. Continue reading

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Miss Independent

BY RACHEL WONG

Relationships are tricky things. During the time you are in a relationship, you learn really quickly that selfishness does not fly. You’re not just thinking about yourself anymore – Unknownyou need to consider another human being and all of their emotions, wants, and needs. Finding a balance between your life and your love life is crucial.

I am a fiercely independent person, especially when it comes to relationships of any kind. But growing up, romantic relationships have always tested this personality trait of mine. I have been single for almost 2 years now and every day I’ve learn to love it a little more. Like anyone else, I still sometimes experience loneliness and self-doubt. But in those moments of clarity when I do enjoy being single, I constantly evaluate and re-evaluate my expectations – both for my potential man and for myself.

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My 2016 Horoscope in Love

BY ZAKIYA KASSAM

I’m not really a horoscope kind of person. Along with fortune cookies, the current state of the American presidency, and organized religion, I consume newspaper astrology with a healthy dose of skepticism. But when my mom decided to forcibly read me my 2016 love horoscope over the phone last weekend, I was pleasantly surprised with what the stars had to say.

“Why would anyone look to the heavens for an insight into their love life? Do we really feel such an important aspect of our existence is so entirely out of our own control? What does that say about how we see ourselves? Might it imply that we understand so little about others… or about our own feelings, that all experiences in the realm of interpersonal exchange are as random and unpredictable as the lottery? Many of us tend to take a surprisingly passive view of romance. We dwell on what others have done, said or acted. We wonder what they will do or say, or how they will act next. We suspect our own ability to influence this is severely limited. If our hearts are radios, we see them as receivers not transmitters.”

Yeah stars, you pretty much nailed it.

Love-Horoscopes.jpgThe spotlight on modern love is enormous right now and I’ve been spending a fair bit of time reading about it online lately. I’m recently single and perhaps this is a not-so-secret ploy of mine to delay the inevitable “getting back out there” process. For whatever reason, I’ve been hiding inside a lot lately with my cat and my laptop, learning all sorts of things I had limited knowledge on before. (For instance, “ghosting.” Prior to reading this essay, I thought ghosting meant arriving and leaving a party without anyone noticing your arrival or departure.)

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No, I’m Not Giving You My Number, And I Don’t Feel Bad About It

By Nathalie Pye

For reasons I can’t explain, within the last few weeks I’ve been asked for my number a lot. Maybe I’m giving off a I-don’t-live-at-home-anymore vibe, or maybe the warmer weather is making men more bold. I’ve been asked for my number before, but never this much.

In the past I’ve almost always gone with the “Sorry, I have a boyfriend” excuse. I know I’m not the only one who’s done this. It’s easy, it stops the conversation immediately, and it lets the asker down easy.

The last time someone asked me for my number I was work, which is problematic in its own regard but that’s another point. It was the end of the night and I was so tired that I just said ‘no’, plain
and simple. I didn’t want to bother with excuses, or try to justify my answer. I just repeatedly said ‘no’. The guy tried to get me to feel sorry for him by saying how much I’d disappointed him but I just kept saying, “Sorry, but I’m not giving out my number.” Maybe this isn’t the best reaction from someone in customer service but we were already closed, I was tired and I just wanted to go home.
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Fireworks Part II

By CHelsea ricchio

Victoria Day was on Monday, which means fireworks.

Last year I wrote a post about fireworks in which I talked about the fact that I had become a firework myself, in the sense that I had finally accomplished a lot of things that I had wanted to and become who I wanted to be.

And I had, but I was also still kind of faking it till I made it. I knew I was because even though I remained optimistic, it took a lot of energy.

It was fun while it lasted.

I absolutely hate spending holidays and other important occasions alone, partially because I genuinely love celebrating them and partially because it reminds me of a time when I was purposefully excluded from other people’s celebrations. For example, last year on Canada Day my friend cancelled plans on me for the ten thousandth time, but I really didn’t want to let that ruin my day. I had lunch with another friend and then dyed my hair purple and relaxed at home with a drink and some Canada Day cupcakes and watched fireworks from the roof of my building. But the whole time I had a nauseous, nervous feeling gnawing at me. I was still struggling not to cry.

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